Why do young men like mature women and vice versa
Arina Kholina, a journalist and sex blogger, tells us about her friend, a MILF porn star who only hooks up with men under the age of 25, at work and in her personal life. Here’s why.
Sex for a relationship and yourself: what's the difference?
— I never date guys over twenty-five anymore! — my friend says.
She's a porn star right now, but she hasn’t always been one. Back in the day, she had only recently begun experimenting with sex. ; she just wasn't as active. Her entire experience was based around having sex in her relationship, but not sex for herself. Women are often raised with the idea that marriage, or at least a "serious relationship”, is the most important thing, and that women must try to please a man in some way.
Everything changed when she discovered a sex app. There are no relationships and no prejudice. Only sex - and only for your own enjoyment. It turned out that when all you want is great crazy - sex, intelligence, age, and social standing don't matter. What matters is whether or not you have an attraction for each other. Whether or not your partner is open-minded or a bore.
— So what's wrong with those who are older? — I wondered.
— Well, I'm not exactly in Switzerland. Russian men aren't the most attractive, they're boring, and they like to talk, but I don't want to talk! — she said. — It's either sex or nothing.
That is her point of view, not mine. I'm not an ageist, and I'm not particularly worried about my age. If you can't get past the "well, she's too old" or "he's too young and stupid" sequence, you don't understand passion. But I guess why: most Eastern European men and women over the age of 35 are so complicated, with so many rules, complexes, clichés, and prejudices that you'll go insane before they take their pants off. And when they'll be in bed, you'll hear some of it too. Not like in Southern Europe, where a glass of wine is between a greeting and sex.
Read more about relationships with MILFs here
Age difference: yes or no?
My friend is a MILF pornstar. Many would consider the above somewhat "abnormal" - young men fantasizing about a mature, experienced woman. And the truth is that sex knows no bounds. Passion can find you at any age, from 16 to 60. It can arise between people of all ages and genders, between strangers, or, ultimately, between close friends. A person can live a confident hetero life and unexpectedly feel a strong desire for that very man/woman.
If a young guy likes a woman in her 50s, it is often not because of her age, but because of the woman herself. But the more prejudice there is, the fewer people are willing to give themselves what they want. The Pure app is a wonderful platform where all that matters is how you feel. Nobody sees you, and nobody judges you. And, it just so happens, that there are far more relationships (focused on sex, but not just one-offs) between people of different ages.
Gender roles: expectation/reality
In some ways, sex between an older woman and a younger man is convenient - if the woman doesn't need a relationship, she doesn't demand anything, and the younger guy has little to offer other than sex, so it's the ideal scenario for both, you’d think. But here are three examples that we think provide a different perspective well:
- A very young lover (22) of our friend (46) usually came to her with gifts and tried to take care of her best he could. He was an athlete who had been self-sufficient since he was a teenager and was earning a good living.
- The other met a guy when he was 25 and she was 41, and they changed each other's lives completely despite meeting for sex only. By talking about life in between sex, and sharing some life experiences.
- A friend (49) slept with a man (30), and he helped her discover a fondness for BDSM. He led her into this new world, where she discovered a passion hidden from herself her entire life, for which she is eternally grateful. They split up after a few years, but they remain friends.
If we're talking about ordinary humans, not prudes, nerds, or people who hold to their complexes, then sex can become something more - a sympathetic friendship, at least. Happiness always brings people closer, and good sex, understandably, is always happy. Positive emotions almost always result in something beautiful.
Something wonderful is always left over from good sex. Especially if you don't have a goal to find a partner. Especially if you’re not doing that just to not be alone, to find someone "decent" so that you're not judged. Allow people to judge, and give them something to talk about. People who are happy with sex usually don't care about any of this; they are so happy that all of this nonsense just bounces off them. Let this be you!