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All you need to know about strap on sex

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Having sex with a strap-on for the first time can be intimidating. It feels different, you need to find the fitting size and shape for all this to fit naturally, and both partners should feel comfortable. Speaking of partners – strap-on sex isn’t limited to lesbian couples only. Guys can also wear strap-ons – i t’s a normal practice. Where’s the harm in wanting to increase the degree of penetration? So, let’s drop the prejudice and dive into a detailed strapon guide.

To get into strapon sex, you need a harness and a dildo

How does a strap work

Strap-on dildo is a sex toy that emulates the shape of the penis and can be worn on the thighs by one of the partners. Strapon differs from its materials, designs, wearing styles, and stimulation methods.

This sex toy can be used for masturbation, straight and lesbian sex —  both vaginal and anal, and oral sex. Of course, using lubrication is a must, especially for positions that require deep penetration — otherwise, artificial materials can damage your vagina.

When to use a strap-on

Strap-on is one of the most universal sex toys. It can be used by straight and lesbian couples, solo or with a partner, for anal or vaginal penetration. Here’s a list of just a few possible applications of strap-ons.

  • Lesbian sex: the most common use of strap-on is vaginal and anal penetration by lesbian partners who want to achieve a deeper impact;
  • Pegging: women can use a dildo to enter their male partner during oral sex;
  • Double penetration: a woman can penetrate herself from the front while her partner is entering her from the rear.
  • Masturbation: women can use dildos to fake deep vaginal penetration or even for anal sex if the strap-on is attached to furniture;
  • Transgender sex: if a person didn’t undergo surgery on genitalia, strapon is a great solution to providing a partner with a typical penetration experience;
  • Erectile dysfunction: sometimes men can’t get erections due to illnesses or external circumstances like stress. A strap-on should be around to help in such situations.
  • Premature ejaculation: If a man tends to get his orgasm quickly, a strap on for guy can prolong sex and help to increase the intensity of thrusting even after ejaculation;
  • Orgasm denial: women during BDSM sex can use a strap-on to receive pleasure from deep vaginal penetration while denying their partner the joy of experiencing an orgasm.
  • Felatio: strap-ons are used during anal sex during BDSM plays or if a man has a penile health issue.

Strap-ons can also be a powerful addition to role-plays and help partners trade roles. It’s a way to get rougher for partners who didn’t experience deep penetration yet. Honestly, no matter what kind of sex you like, it’s possible that strap-on will make it even better.

Strap-on is traditionally worn by women, but they can also be worn by men

How to choose a strap-on

If you are new to strapon sex, you are likely confused with all the variety of strapon design. Here, I’ll walk you through the process of picking a strap on for him or her by looking at its harness type, material, and stimulation methods.

Pick a harness that suits you both

A harness is a part of strapon that connects the body to the dildo, the part that you or your partner will be wearing during sex. Harness should be comfortable, perfectly fit the body size of the wearer, and possibly provide additional stimulation. When couples use strapons, it’s often the case that the one who’s being penetrated, enjoys the process, but the wearer is feeling left out. Well, a good harness helps to solve that — it rubs the partner in erogenous zones, providing additional excitement.

The harness is the part of the strapon, responsible for delivering pleasure to the wearer

Types of harness

Let’s take a look at the most common types of harnesses and examine their advantages and downsides.

A two-strap harness is fixated by one strap around the waist and another one near thighs

A harness for double strap on

One strap is wrapped around the wearer’s waist whereas another goes between thighs and connects another side in the rearer. This harness is the most reliable one — it doesn’t slide or fall during sex.

The downside, however, is that the lower strap often rubs uncomfortably on wearer’s penis or vagina — after using it a couple of times, you could even end up with bruises. Another problem is that dildo isn’t fixated too well — it might rotate, flop, or squeak in the process.

Having one strap for each thing provides additional support

Three-strap harness

If in two-strap harness there’s only one lower strap, this type features two-straps that go underneath each thigh. It provides a better fixation and you can decide how exactly you want to position the dildo. Another advantage is that anus and genitals are out of the open, ready to be stimulated. You can use strapon dildo and still experience excitement naturally, with your bare skin.

These harnesses, however, can be difficult to fit — the size has to match your body perfectly. Also, it takes a while to put all three straps on and often requires assistance.

The harness can be undone each time or kept in its tied form

Corsets

If you don’t like relying on straps that have to be undone every time you take the dildo off, you can try a more permanent option — like a corset. The dildo is attached to a wholesome clothing item — you only have to wear and zip it, no worries about attaching a strap to the right place. However, a corset will cover a lot of your body, so there’s less space for natural stimulation. But on the other hand, you can easily wear it underneath normal clothes — great for quick sex.

Experimenting with dildos

The main purpose of the strapon is delivered by the dildo — a sex toy shaped in the form of the penis (usually, there are modifications, too). The classical location of the dildo is near the wearer’s actual penis — the strapon emulates real-life anatomy, making the experience as realistic as possible.

However, you don’t have to opt only for natural dildos. If you want to experiment with cool positions and try out something new, I recommend taking a look at alternative designs.

Attaching dildo to your thigh allows you getting access to a bunch of new spots

Thigh dildos

A popular modification of regular dildos is a thigh dildo — the sex toy is attached directly to a person’s thigh and it allows to penetrate new areas of partner’s anus or vagina. You can try the variety of sitting positions, experiment with rough sex, and stimulate new erogenous zones.

Attaching dildos to furniture

You don’t even have to wear dildos — you can attach it to your bed, chair, table, and penetrate yourself by thrusting on the item. It can be even done with a partner who could be meanwhile engaged in nipple stimulation. Furniture-worn strapons allow couples to focus their attention on other types of sex whole furniture will perform the function of a dildo holder.

The dildo is attached to a wearable ball instead of straps

Ball-like harness

In this model, a dildo is attached to a rubber ball. When a couple does deep penetration, especially during anal se,x the rubber ball provides additional pressure and increases the intensity of the position. It’s not a universal option — inflatable balls can be uncomfortable during many kinds of sex (like spooning, where you want a more intimate, gentler contact). For rough sex, however, this is a must-try.

Harness materials

When you pick the best strap on dildo, you mostly pay attention to the size and shape of a dildo. Well, I intentionally start with a harness, because that’s just as important — if not more. If the material of the strap isn’t comfortable, the wearer will get tired very quickly — and then it doesn’t matter what kind of dildo you attached.

Synthetic materials

The most common materials for the synthetic harness are nylon and artificial leather. These are the cheapest materials and also among the most durable ones. They can be easily washed in the machine and aren’t sensitive to washing chemicals.

The downside is, of course, a less natural feel. On one hand, artificial materials are flexible — which is nice — but they aren’t pleasant to the touch and seem too artificial to the wearer.

Natural leather

Leather is nice to the touch, it’s very durable and more or less flexible. With a leather strap-on, the wearer can get a lot of additional stimulation from the harness itself, but you need to be precise with the size. If the strap doesn’t fit you, it’ll be likely rubbing you in all the wrong places.

Cloth

It’s an expensive material, usually used in corset-like strapons. It’s easy to clean and pleasant to wear, but its high cost is a significant downside.

Soft plastic

Another cheap harness material that can be easily cleaned and maintained. However, for this convenience, you might have to trade the pleasure: plastic materials often don’t fit properly, slide, squeak, or leave marks on the skin.

Latex

Latex harnesses cover the entire lower part of the body. They aren’t durable — the material is sensitive to oils which is a problem if you use oil lubricants. They are difficult to clean and without proper care, turn dry in no time. However, they are affordable and flexible, which is why you don’t have to be as careful with sizes while making a choice.

Choosing a dildo

Finally, we’ve gotten to the main part of the strapon. When you choose a dildo, you need to pay attention to its design, size, and shape. Some also offer additional stimulation (vibrating strap on, massage), but such dildos are more expensive. Let’s take a look at the most common types of dildo.

Standard dildo precisely emulates the penis shape

Standard design

A classical dildo is a precise emulation of the penis, with an enlarged head and prolonged shape. It’s the best realistic strap on. Such modification comes in curved and straight modifications. Straight offer deeper penetration but the curved ones allow heating more erogenous zones, including the G-spot.

A probe dildo has smoother edges and is safer for beginners

Probe dildo

Probe dildo is usually inserted into a strap on for beginners — it’s wider, shorter, and easier to manage. The shape itself doesn’t look too much like a penis — more like a cone, sometimes slightly longer. The experience, needless to say, isn’t too natural either. Because prone dildos don’t have classical bigger heads, the stimulation will only be half of what you’d get with the standard one. However, it’s good for a start, because wide accessories are easier to control – so fewer injury risks.

The best vibrating strap on is usually a G-spot strap on

G-spot and anal dildos

Dildos for G-spot stimulation and deep anal penetration are curved near the head or through the entire length. The curved shape allows experimenting with stimulating different spots in hopes to find the G-spot. It’s harder to manage, but the stimulation is much stronger than with other types of dildoes. You need to make sure that the curvature fits your anatomy, however — if the dildo is curved to the opposite side from your G-spot, you won’t get any pleasure at all.

You can even try out cute handmade dildos

A textured dildo

If you are through with the beginning stage, you can add kirks into your sexual activity by trying out a textured dildo. Such toy has bumps, ripples, or curves along the surface that provide additional stimulation and cause the vagina to open up more. Some dildos increase friction, providing rougher penetration.

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How to wear a strap on

You should wear your harness first and see if it fits the size of your body and genitalia. At first, try walking with it, possibly with your clothes on. Putting your harness on the trial period helps you ensure that it doesn’t rub in the wrong places, squeak, or slide. Also, if you get used to the harness while walking, it’ll be easier to manage it during sex.

After you are used to the harness, it’s time to put the dildo on. You need to make sure that dildo’s eight and materials correspond to the harness. The textile panty-like harness isn’t the best fit for a big heavy dildo, similarly was you don’t want to mix a heavy strap with a small silicone dildo.

Be sure to clean your dildo after each time. If you exchange it with a partner, clean a toy before insertion. These basic hygiene rules will protect you from infections and prolong the age of the strap on

How to use a strap on in sex positions

Once you’ve chosen a strapon with a fitting harness and dildo, it’s time to get it on. Strap-on can be used with almost any position, but some can benefit from the use of a dildo. Here’s my list of favorite strapon positions.

Doggy style is a go-to position for a dildo sex

Doggy style

It’s a simple, quick, and rough position that provides countless possibilities for deep penetration. It can even be used to find and stimulate a G-spot — because it’s located on the back vagina wall.

You need to get on your knees and support yourself with arms while the partner is entering you from behind — just like dogs mate. It’s the most popular position for deep anal stimulation because it’s easy to pull off and results are great. Strap-ons give your partner additional length for better penetration and stimulate your anus better.

The most popular position for vaginal penetration can also be enhanced with a strapon

Missionary

This is the most popular sex position — the guy gets on top, looking a partner directly in the eyes. The proximity of two partners allows deep vaginal penetration but also, an intimate contact. A strap-on increases the intensity of the penetration and gives opportunities for G-spot stimulation — even though missionary by itself isn’t the best position for exciting a G-spot.

One of the best positions for dildo foreplay

The preparty

Lie on your back while your partner supports you from the side. You can let your partner massage your vagina while you keep your legs wrapped around his thigh. It’s a great position for foreplay, especially before you start rough sex.

You don’t have to support yourself with hands — just lie down and relax

Leapfrog

Another iconic anal sex position. A girl should sit on her legs, leaning down, so that her breasts touch the floor or bed. Your arm and shoulders don’t need to support your weight anymore, which makes it much easier to handle than a dog style. The partner needs to be on the same height as you — he can stand if you are sitting on a high bed or chair. He will enter you from behind, supporting your hips with his hands. A strap-on helps to get deeper penetration.

The best lesbian strapon sex position

The strapon sizzle

It’s a top position for lesbian strapon sex. Both partners lie on each other nearby, whole their nipples touch. It’s a lesbian version of the missionary – tow partners are located in the proximity and attached dildo allows achieving very, very deep penetration.

Where to buy a good strapon

Now that you know how to pick a strapon and have sex with it, it’s time to take a look at the existing option. If you see something promising, go ahead and get it — trust me, buying strapon can be a small change that makes a big impact on your sex life.

Best harnesses

You can buy a dildo and a harness separately and then put two together. It’s generally cheaper and better in the long run — because you can take more consideration into choosing both a harness and a dildo.

Doc Johnson’s Vac-U-Lock Platinum corset harness

Price: $35

One of the best two-strap harnesses on the market

The harness has a thigh strap and a corset – it’s a reliable model that provides solid fixation for a dildo. The design is feminine and stylish – the harness looks like a piece of lingerie. It’s fully adjustable to different waist sizes, although I encourage you to pick the one that suits you right away. It’s one of the best-rated straps on due to its flexibility and durability.

The Vac-U-Lock G-String by Doc Johnson

Price: $22

A unisex two-strap harness

This strap-on can be worn by men and women alike. It’s a two-strap harness where one strap goes to the waist and another between your thigh. It hides a lot of your genital area – which is a problem for many wearers, but it also stimulates the groin zone. It’s a great strap on for men who have occasional issues with erection.

The Avalon jock-style harness by Strap U

Price: $30

A revealing strapon harness

If you want a harness that leaves your body exposed, I suggest trying out Avalon jock-style harness. It uses three straps for fixation — one goes to your waist, the other two to your thighs, one for each. It’s comfortable and intimate, and it leaves the wearer’s skin open for natural stimulation.

RodeoH’s lace Duo Panty

Price: $65

A feminine harness that looks just like an elegant pair of panties

This harness looks just like regular panties. It’s easy to wear, clean, and adjust, which is why it’s often considered the best strap on for women. If you are using lightweight dildos, this is a perfect option. Heaver toys, however, need more reliable support — for instance, heavy leather straps.

GalPal by Doc Johnson

Price: $27

A huge strapon for couples who are experienced in rough sex

GalPal is made of silicon which makes it friendly to all kinds of lubes and water. It’s often used for G-spot stimulation as well as P-spot sex. The toy fits both to men and women and can also be used for anal sex. The big advantage of this toy is that, due to its unisex design, you can swap it with your partner anytime.

Pipedream’s Elite Strapless Strap-on

Price: $36

A smooth strap on for beginners

If the safety of a strap-on is your main choice criteria, you need a safe material from a medical-level material. This silicon is hygienic and easy-to-clean, flexible — the dildo adapts to different shapes and sizes of the vagina, helping to avoid internal injuries.

How to have a strap on sex

FAQ

What is it like having sex using a strap-on dildo?

Having sex with a strap on dildo is a weird mix between sex and masturbation. On one hand, you aren’t limited by his erection patterns or premature ejaculation. But it’s much better than just using the dildo on your own. Having a possibility to experiment with anal penetration, stimulate G-spot together with your partner, and ask him to massage your nipples while you are at it — what can be better, seriously?.

Why would a woman like to wear and use a strap-on? What is the psychological pattern behind it?

Girls enjoy having the roles reversed. Having a strap-on makes us feel more masculine, strong, and decisive. It can be hard to embrace dominant roles in bed because we are not used to taking responsibility. Also, for many guys, seeing their girls with a strap-on is a huge turn-on. Some don’t have any particular psychological meaning for wearing a strap-on, they just like the feeling of it.

Does getting pegged by a woman mean you’re gay?

No, it doesn’t. It’s a stereotype that has nothing to do with reality. A guy of any orientation can enjoy being pegged — it’s just as good form of sex as any.

Are strapon devices used mainly by women on men?

Mainly, strapon devices are used by women in lesbian relationships, but the toy is getting more popular among men as well. You can stimulate G-spot, trying out double penetration, and experiment with different techniques. Men can try out different positions that they couldn’t have done with dildo.

What should I do if I am a straight male and I want my girlfriend to use a strap-on?

You can just talk to her about it. Most girls won’t admit that they want to experiment with a strapon, but it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be up to it. I suggest researching positions and sex techniques before persuading her — you need to show her that you are knowledgeable about the topic, know how to handle such sex, and handle any concerns regarding safety and hygiene.

Final thoughts

Strapon sex is fun, both for men and women. Sure enough, there is a bulk of stereotypes and misconceptions, but don’t let them discourage you. In reality, using strapon is a shortcut to many sex experiments, a great way to reverse roles, and to get to know your partner better. It’s a small change, but if you know how to make the most out of your strap-on, trust me, your sex life will change for the best in ways you could never imagine.

Jennifer Williams
Has sexy British accent and sense of humor. Graduated as a psychologist, and worked as a copywriter for advertising. From the age of 20, Jennifer has been writing a diary to document her sexual discoveries, and later focused on writing articles about sex, relationships and dating. Loves coffee and collects sex toys.

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