Most people who ever heard or thought of mutual masturbation consider it as something odd and quite embarrassing to do in bed. We say it is shameful not to try it in your 20s’, 30s’ or whatever age you are.
Mutual masturbation will bring more heat and spice into a relationship. It is not only sexy but also empowering and a real game-changer. Mutual masturbation can bring you the confidence you might be missing or put it on a few levels higher.
How to get started: basic mechanism
First of all, you should establish that you are comfortable with it and get your man on board. This is usually foreplay for couples and used to spice things up and get closer.
It is better to choose a pose where both of you will be facing each other because the eye contact here is important. There are plenty of ways to do it. All you can do is find the one or a few that you and your partner like the most. You already know that experimenting is the tool to figure everything out.
After you choose the position for the first time, things will get hot. Start by rubbing your clit, play and pinch your nipples, slide in a finger or two. In other words, enjoy yourself so your partner will enjoy it as well. He should touch himself too, make sure he remembers that. Although we believe he won’t resist even a minute.
Tips for women
You can start by pinching the idea through text or as a role play. When this sounds extremely easy, take a moment to process what you are going to do. You have to be confident enough to do this. Otherwise, it could turn out even more humiliating and odd than a simple rejection.
The next step is to decide when you are going to start it. Is it foreplay before sex, is it a FaceTime sex or the main sexual course.
Mutual masturbation as a foreplay before sex:
- Choose the position or two if you want to change in the middle, for you both to see each other;
- Think throughout your outfit. Are you naked, wearing lingerie or fully closed with a slight sneak peek for him to fulfil the fantasy;
- If it is foreplay, make sure to set the mood and the speed. For example, you go to the end and cum, but your man has to go twice slower and always be on the edge.
Mutual masturbation as a part of the virtual sex:
- Use the tips form the foreplay paragraph, where you choose position, clothing or zero clothing, and the speed;
- The purpose of the phone sex is to come at the same time and hard, make sure you’ve prepared a scenario for your phone or video call;
- Set the place! That is important. Make sure there are nothing distractive or nasty aka dirty on the background of the video call;
- Play with positioning your phone or laptop. Choose the right and “best side” angle for yourself. It is important for both sides. For him to get horny, even seeing you and for you to always keep up with your confidence to get the best pleasure and not get distracted on your positioning.
Mutual masturbation as a main sexual course
- Set the mood. Lit some candles, choose relaxing music;
- Pick the position depending if you are going to masturbate one another or separately;
- Decide are you going to cum together or when it comes;
- You can put oil on each other before. That is always intimate and can make both of you wet and hard.
Girl to girl
We haven’t forgotten those who are in love with the same gender. You can use the same tips as for the straight couple, though make it more individual for your desires. Experiment with positions and scissoring, try the best options for both of you to feel good. Use saliva or lube to make it more slippery.
Tips for men
When it comes to mutual masturbation, some men find it dull. We say that those men are harshly mistaken. Mutual masturbation can be as exciting as any other penetration. Depends on your open-minded spirit and experimenting with the thrill.
Here are some helpful tips to make it work and worth it:
- You should set the rule of not touching each other but play with yourself, don’t take it offensively, but take it as an amazing opportunity. Watch her and learn. Trust us, no matter how good you are to please her clit, there is always the way where she does it better to herself. Observe her movements and how her body reacts to it. Thank us later.
- Lesbian scissoring looks hot and amazing. You can do something similar. Rub your rock-hard penis against her wet clit. Slap it and play around the vagina area but do not penetrate. Teasing is the best way to build sexual tension;
- If you both decided to make each other cum, don’t forget about the rest of her body. Make eye contact, kiss her on lips and everywhere else. Women love to feel kisses not only within their ergogenic zones, try it and see how she will react. Also, use fingers inside of her while rubbing her clit with your thumb.
Man to man
Mutual masturbation between two guys is not that different from any other couple. Focus your attention on his and your pleasure. If you do it separately where you are allowed to see your partner but not touch him, read through his body language. Don’t forget about eye contact here. It is a powerful and sexy tool.
When there is touching involved, and you masturbate to each other, make sure you are not only about to play with his penis. Add kissing, light neck biting, and don’t forget to lick armpits. Those are sensitive and a bit ticklish but worth it.
5 most comfortable positions for mutual masturbation
We find the best positions that will bring you closer to a partner during mutual masturbation. Some of them might seem odd or those that you have never tried before. Although, trust us and don’t waste any time but try them.
These are ultimate positions that will work well for mutual masturbation for any possible couple that exists.
Facing each other while sitting or laying
That is one of the most common and simplest positions for mutual masturbation. All you need is to decide between bed or sofa, sit in front of each other, and start playing with each other or keeping the distance and touch yourself separately with full eye contact.
Make sure that the bed or sofa is comfortable and you won’t leave any stains. This is a vulnerable position. You have to stay true to yourself and move faster if you need so or whatever sound you need to make it — do it without hesitation.
Reverse masturbating 69
This is the position most of us could have seen in porn. Reverse 69 means that there is no one on top or bottom. Both of you are on the sides. You might adjust your positions to see one another but don’t think too much thought into it. With this position, it is all about pleasing.
While being on your side, you can pull your leg over his shoulder that will give him more access to your clit. Remember, you are on your side or back. Meanwhile, it gives you access to his penis, testicles, and rectum.
Works same for the LGBTQ+ couples.
The position is for mutual masturbation and reminds one of the most iconic scenes in “Cruel Intentions.” He is half sitting with his back against the wall or bedding or sofa, depending on your choice. While you are on top of him facing him with your back.
Your hand goes behind to play with his penis while he is rubbing against your clit. Even though you are most likely not having eye contact — the position is very intimate for couples. Might not be that easy for women couples but to make sure — try it out.
This position is fun to try. The basics of it are that you should be in a standing position — well-laying position will work too, but standing is more fun. Once you stand close in a position facing each other slide in your hand close enough to your partner’s genitals. Here is where you rub your clit against her hand and fingers. Same works the other way around. Although it might not be a very suitable position if it’s harder for you to cum standing.
This is a popular position within gay couples, even though anyone can proceed with this one. While one partner is laying on his back, the other one is sitting on top facing. Eye contact is guaranteed here. You can either play with yourself or male your partner go crazy over your touches. Either way, you will have plenty of fun.
Spice it up with sex toys
Mutual masturbation can be diverse as much as you want. The exact reason why one of the most popular suggestions if to take sex toys with you to the bed.
First of all, if you have never tried it with your partner — that would be a great start. Bring it up saying that you want him or her to see how you get off when you are alone. If you have already tried the simple toys — evolve. Remember always to have lube nearby.
Begin the entire process with a plan. Think through what you both would have preferred to try. Why you’ve decided to try the mutual masturbation and what you want to get from it.
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How do I suggest mutual masturbation to my partner?
Communication is always a plus in any relationship. Talk about it and discuss if that is something your partner also would like to try. It is not supposed to be a serious conversation, simple “Tonight we are going to try something new” will work just fine.
What position is good for mutual masturbation if I’m not ready to face my partner?
The love seat position is for you in this case. This way, you are facing your partner with your back but still get the same pleasure from mutual masturbation.
Is dirty talk acceptable during mutual masturbation?
More than acceptable. Dirty talk is always a good spice to add to any sexual intercourse and especially to mutual masturbation.