Online dating made hooking up much more accessible and hassle-free. Dozens of websites help people connect and explore everything — from casual sex to BDSM, kink, and fetish.
Dating apps seem like freedom — you don’t have to approach the girl and think on-spot physically. Instead, you can take as much time as you want to come up with a conversation-starter. The weird thing is, the guys who are shy to talk to girls in real life are just as uncomfortable using dating platforms.
There’s a misconception that girls don’t want sex as much as guys do and certainly will not hook up with a stranger. However, the thing is, women don’t show their desires as explicitly — yet, they will be just as happy to satisfy them.
This guide is all about finding and not missing out on a sex night of your dreams and using dating apps the right way to connect with hot girls.
There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to hitting on a girl. Depending on your age group, relationship preferences, and experience, you might have to work out your approach. However, to make sure you’re not lost navigating through the uncharted territory of online hookups, we outlined the main steps of attracting a girl successfully.
Step 1. Catching her attention
Flirting is tough. It’s so easy to go over the top and realize your pickup line is cringeworthy, and your tries to get her to notice you seem desperate. However, you have to give a girl a hint that you like her — otherwise, she’ll stay clueless forever.
Here are a few ways to catch women’s attention successfully:
- Flirting. In the real-world context, you can use your body language to express attraction. On a dating app, start a lighthearted, playful conversation around something you have in common to break the ice.
- Make it all about her. A successful hookup is all about being considerate of a girl. That implies asking questions about her here and there, memorizing what she has told or written in a text and casually bringing it up, and joking playfully to make her laugh.
- Ask her plainly if she’s involved. A hookup is all about straightforwardness, so don’t be afraid to speak up about your desire to get it on with her. Normally, you want to know how to hook up with a girl who’s experienced and open-minded – be such a guy yourself.
Step 2. Make her see you as a hookup buddy
Catching a girl’s attention is essential. Yet, ensuring she sees you as a source of sexual attraction is crucial. There’s no need to get it on right away. Remember that not every girl would agree to hook up with a stranger without getting to know him beforehand.
Here are the ways to strengthen the bond with a girl and increase the odds of a successful hookup:
- Ask her out for a date. Casually invite her to grab a drink — you can use the get-together as a possibility to get to know the partner closer, check the chemistry between you two, and confirm whether or not she’s looking for hookups at the moment.
- Compliment her. Even if you are not in for a long-term relationship, girls love being praised on a dress or makeup they wear. Put as much friendliness and sincerity into a compliment as possible, but keep it casual — otherwise, your praise will seem fake.
- Start with casual touching. All the while, check how a girl responds to physical contact. If both of you are comfortable, you can lean closer and kiss her.
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Step 3. Hook up
The best way to get to the homerun is by expanding the range of body parts you’re touching as you and the body partner are kissing. You can slowly run your hands through her breasts and see if she’s comfortable with it. If a girl moves closer to you or sits on your lap, these are the telling signs that you’re doing well.
Then, slowly undress her. Remember, rather than removing your clothes on your own, let the girl show some initiative instead. She should be the one to unbutton your shirt or undo your belt — it’s a non-verbal consent of sorts.
A word of friendly advice — be sober when hooking up. Otherwise, it might turn out she didn’t want to have sex, and all you did was take advantage.
What does hook up mean to a girl?
Before hooking up with a partner, ask what a “hookup” means to her. Mostly, the word refers to intercourse — however, some might consider a kiss a hookup as well — make sure you avoid confusion.
How do you hook up with a girl online?
To find a hookup online, come up with opening lines, and choose the one that fits a particular girl. There’s a wide range of available conversation-starters that match both shy and confident guys.
How do you initiate a hookup?
The main tips for finding a hookup is to know what kind of relationship you want, what you are looking for in a partner, reaching out to girls, both in real life and online, and being proactive about asking her out.
Is it OK to just hook up with a guy?
Hooking up is a little more challenging for girls than it is for guys since there’s more stigma around it. Before offering a girl to have a one-night stand, make sure it doesn’t jeopardize her values and will not make her uncomfortable.
Tips on hooking up with girls
- Learn how to handle rejection. If a girl dismisses your advances, don’t let it get to you, don’t show anger or frustration — withdraw with grace and dignity.
- “No” means “no.” Even if it looks like she’s playing hard to get, you shouldn’t keep going until a girl verbally allows you to.
- Small talk is not an interview. Taking an interest in a partner’s hobbies, interests, and social life is crucial to building a bond with her. However, being hung up on her too much will add awkwardness and tension to the date — don’t be shy to speak up when the ball is in your court.
- Don’t overdo with the preparation. Too much perfume will get overbearing real quick and spoil your night.
Be in touch with common sense when you’re out with a girl. Don’t hook up with underage girls — that is illegal. Don’t have sex with her if she, you, or both of you are under the influence. Before initiating intercourse, ask her for verbal consent.
Women are aware of online hookup risks
Since women are often the ones to deal with the consequences of an irresponsible hookup, they are naturally more cautious and reserved than men when it comes to having sex with a stranger.
To understand prospective hookups better, you should get their perspectives on how getting it one with someone from an online app is dangerous.
For guys, the stakes during sex are considerably lower than for women since they can move on and forget a hookup ever happened. Girls, on the other hand, might have to deal with an unwanted pregnancy. Most women are well-aware of the risk and tend to close off when it comes to online hookups.
Sexually Transmittable Diseases are a pain in the ass for everyone — guys and girls alike. Even if you are alright with taking a risk, she might not want to carry a reminder of your night in the form of herpes. Since girls don’t typically get to know the guys they met online well enough to have them tested, most are cautious and unwilling to hook up with men, they don’t’ know well enough.
Harassment and assault
With #MeToo, regular rape and harassment lawsuit, and shocking news stories, girls are scared for their physical safety when considering a hookup. Meeting a stranger in a bar allows you to see how he’s behaving around others if he’s rude or violent. As for strangers online, there’s less room for certainty.
Making a girl feel safe and secure when she’s out with you is crucial if you want a one-night-stand to be enjoyable and tension-free.
Being treated like trash
Another reason why girls aren’t too eager to use hookup platforms is out of fear of being disrespected. As some people have thinner skin than others, they are more vulnerable and will feel attacked if a guy yells, makes an inappropriate joke, or a poorly thought out comment after sex.
Standing a girl up on the date, ghosting her after you hooked up, being rude, or verbally harassing her are all no-gos unless you want to be remembered as the jerk of the local dating scene.
Girls have to be picky and considerate about their sexual affairs since the habit of slut-shaming in a conservative social circle never went away even in Western society.
Guys don’t suffer from hookup-related insights as much, which is why they feel more confident when looking for sex online. As you text girls, keep the stigma in their surroundings in mind and be considerate of it.
Getting attached emotionally and being hurt
A friendship-with-benefits can be entirely ruined if you get attached to a girl that has a boyfriend. That adds tension to sex, leads to awkwardness, and eventually results in a painful breakup.
The fear of falling in love with a hookup is common for girls with no hookup experience and is another reason why a lot of them choose never to hook up altogether.
High-profile girls with online following or a prominent career would never want to see their online dating activity exposed. Although rare, memory and data leaks still happen — especially on dating apps that store a lot of personal data for the sake of advanced matching algorithms.
Choosing a platform where girls don’t have to share their personal data and are more confident about the degree of protection is a way to find a girl to hook up with.
Finally, a girl might not want to hook up with you out of fear that her friends and family will find out about the affair. If a woman spends years creating a social image, she wouldn’t want to see it destroyed when the word of a hookup gets out.
These are the most common challenges guys are facing when looking for female hookup partners. To know how to handle these issues, follow the tips below.
Choose the dating app wisely
Since there are over 40 million people in the US alone who choose dating apps as the easiest way to hookup with a girl online, the number of platforms has spiked in the last several years. Choosing the right platform might get challenging — at first glance, all dating apps look the same.
The first thing to keep in mind when looking through platforms is security. You want to use a tool that allows keeping anonymity, doesn’t store personal data, and encrypts your texts.
The next important criteria are the interface. The app should load quickly, be easy to use, and appropriate to scroll through in public places. Finally, the dating platform should have a wide following – otherwise, you will not be able to find matches.
Find your hookup adventure in one hour
Pure users are looking for adventures. They value anonymity, straightforwardness, and intimacy with no obligations.
The application works quickly and simply — no long registrations or endless questionnaires, no social media links or photo albums. The algorithm uses end-to-end encryption and deletes profiles and chats in an hour after they start.
Upload your favourite selfie, find the person who turns you on and start texting. You have one hour to arrange an adventure together.
Protect your privacy
There are dozens of cyber threats you might have to deal with if you’re careless on dating websites. Whether your data will be leaked or taken for ransom or a prospective partner will attempt to scam you, or someone tries to steal your identity — you should be prepared for any of these cases and well-protected.
Come up with a strong password
Brute force attacks are a common security threat. If you don’t want a third party to get access to your account, come up with strong login credentials.
Typically, a strong password includes numbers, small and capital letters, and special characters (!, “, ;). Make sure you don’t use the same password for multiple purposes. When deciding on a password, come up with a combination that’s at least 8 characters long.
Protect yourself with special software
Even if you are not using public Wi-Fi networks, there are multiple ways for malware to infect your computer or a smartphone. That’s why you should install antivirus software for Windows, macOS, Android, or iOS. Such tools will inspect your device and detect trojans, malware, spyware, and other threats.
Use the latest versions of operating systems
Security vulnerabilities are much more likely to come through when an outdated version of the OS is installed on a PC or a smartphone. Over time, security protection mechanisms are no longer news to hackers and can be easily bypassed.
The development teams of operating systems, on the other hand, do their best to protect the software from security exploits. By following and installing the latest OS releases, you ensure no scammer from a dating app can penetrate your system’s defense.
Password-protect your phone
Using a passcode lock is basic yet efficient protection mean of protection from eavesdroppers. In case you lose your phone, a password will be a way to protect all pictures, accounts, and dating app profiles your device stores. There are multiple ways to password-protect a PC or a smartphone — FaceID, a pattern lock, a fingerprint lock, or a text-based password.
Install a VPN
Using a VPN is a way to ensure no one on a dating website can trace your location. There are dozens of extensions for Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox that allow you to connect to remote servers. On top of that, a virtual network is a way to bypass the location-based matching system most platforms have in case you would rather hook up with someone from a different city.
Refine your dating profile
A dating app profile will be the first thing a girl sees — you want to ensure she’s intrigued and eager to know you better. To keep the mystery alive, write a short and sweet bio, briefly describing your hobbies, occupation, or character traits.
The profile picture is another defining element of whether or not a girl will like you. A good profile image is worth a thousand words and can help you come across as confident. On the contrary, by posting a low-quality pic, you will seem unattractive and creepy.
Avoid uploading selfies, pictures with filters, and photos that have other people except for you in the frame.
Deliver what you promise in the profile
Most girls are highly sensitive to when a guy is being insincere and can call you out on any pretense in no time. The easiest way to not have to worry about losing weight or growing up a few inches in a matter of days is to not lie about it in the first place.
You might think that an inch of height or a couple of pounds of weight don’t make a difference — guess what, they do. When describing your job and hobbies, keep a cold head. Don’t brag about being a regular hiker or a workaholic if neither is true – in relationships, lying can only get you this far.
Give women time to trust you
It’s a scientifically proven fact that women don’t crave casual sex as much as men do. However, the thing is, most wouldn’t mind a hookup as soon as they get to spend some time with the partner.
Girls are well-aware of all the risks a one-night-stand brings. As a guy, you should keep this in mind and give a partner some time to connect with you. Be open when answering questions and ask a thing or two in return. By not rushing a girl straight to the home run, you will have higher odds of hooking up at the end of the day.
Specify your relationship expectations
You might be thinking that stating your expectations is a conversation-breaker — the truth is, it can be. However, if you know how to get a girl to discuss your relationship needs, you will come off as a confident and down-to-earth guy.
To start with, don’t make it all about you. Instead, focus on finding out about her relationship expectations. As you are in the middle of discussing hookup rules and deal-breakers, you get an opportunity to express your own needs.
If a girl is not happy with your relationship — you’re better off without her. Move on and look for a hookup that will be a rewarding experience for the two of you
There’s a thin line between hookups and relationships. Since you and the partner will share an intimate connection, keep in mind that either yourself or she could get attached.
To not hurt each other unintentionally, discuss if you are open to a long-term relationship, how much time per week you are going to meet up, choose the location. Most importantly — and I’ll touch on this later on — discuss protection.
Be safe and talk about protection
Girls typically don’t mind protection — as long as you are on board with it, the partner probably wouldn’t mind. Remember to always bring extra condoms just in case. For more safety, ask a girl when she was last tested for STDs and go to the lab yourself.
Although it’s not common among guys to worry about their physical safety when going out with a girl, it doesn’t hurt to follow commonplace rules. Choosing a familiar area for the meeting, calling each other beforehand, and telling trusted friends where you’ll be in the evening so that they can help you out just in case.
Tips for ultimate hookup success
It’s not easy to get a girl to agree to a one-night-stand since most will be expecting the happily ever after. However, if you look in the right places and know how to approach a prospective hookup, she wouldn’t mind a one-night stand. Here are the tips for getting what you want on the dating scene unfailingly.
Don’t drink too much
Getting drunk is not going to provide you with confidence — if anything, you will only lose control over the night and are likely to do things you’ll regret the day after. Don’t forget the “whiskey dick” issue — you wouldn’t want that last glass of wine to catch you on the spot.
Also, when drunk, you’re less likely to remember to use condoms and have higher odds of getting STDs.
Being creepy doesn’t make you a go-getter
Although there’s a popular misconception that confidence is all hookups are about, just like any other relationship, they thrive when built on trust. You wouldn’t want to seem something you’re not — it will freak the partner out and, along with making you more awkward and tense. Pickup lines don’t help here — genuine confidence is the only way to go.
Be in charge
On a hookup date, don’t expect a girl to control the pace of the night. Instead, be proactive, feel free to make the first move. Having to initiate a hookup sometimes makes women feel slutty — that’s why you want to be the first one to initiate the kissing or the touching. Keep in mind that proactivity doesn’t mean being pushy or physically abusive.
Hide the evidence of other hookups
Although hookup relationships are never exclusive, consider hiding the evidence of previous one-night-stands. Otherwise, a girl would feel like the connection has no meaning to you — she might get hurt or offended by it.
Ensuring there’s no female underwear, hair, toothbrushes, and other potentially compromising hookup evidence is all it takes to create a flair of exclusivity for your next partner.
Choose the best platforms for hooking up with girls
A successful hookup starts by looking for the right dating app. Although I already described what you should look for in the next platform, here are the top 5 tools that are widely used by girls to look for male hookup partners. Feel free to try any of these — they are secure, free or with a free trial, and easy to use.
If you’re wondering, “Where can I hook up with girls,” XMatch is a solid platform for connecting with girls in a few clicks. The app is popular as a kink space — there’s a directory of girls who’re into BDSM and fetish. I found the voting system extremely convenient — it allows you to rate other users and see who are the hottest people on the platform.
Unfortunately, there are no matching algorithms to hook you up with a suitable partner — you are on your own.
Pure is a sleek and secure hookup space. It takes under a minute to create an account here. I enjoyed the way te platform cares about users’ security and privacy — all profiles are self-destructive and get eliminated automatically one hour after they are created.
There are over 200,000 active hookup-seekers that come from the States and other places in the world. You will not run short of matches here.
eHarmony is one of the most reputable dating platforms on the market. It has millions of active users, advanced matching algorithms, and a free version that allows you to give the tool a try without having to pay for subscriptions.
The outdated interface and the high number of fakes were the things that frustrated me about the platform. I had a hard time finding a genuine user to hook up with.
FriendFinder-X is similar to XMatch as it, too, grades users based on how hot they are. While the platform has a wide range of search filters and an easy-to-use interface, you will need to pay for the premium version to access it freely.
A possibility to connect the app to wireless sex toys is a feature that’s unique to the platform. You can take the relaxation experience to a whole new level.
The platform is one of the most popular hookup spaces on the Internet and one of the older local hookup sites as well. AAF manages to stay relevant despite its 20-something years on the market.
The platform offers a wide range of free and paid features — live cam shows, in-person hookup scheduling, cybersex, online sexting.