First-Time Sex Experiences. Is it all Rainbows and Fabulous Orgasms or Nah?

Dating tips
June 4, 2020

Oh man, the first time sex is a tough topic. Of course, I like some juicy stories myself and have no shame to share those that I know. Since my first time happened nearly two decades ago, you can imagine that I remember it very vaguely.

However, a good story required an effort. I was willing to get to my memory garage and pick up that box to find another memory journal. My first ever hookup time. In my opinion, your first sex experience is not only when you lost your virginity, for me, it is also when you try new things for the first time.

First lesbian sex experience or maybe anal sex experience still counts as the first time. I remember all my first times. First failed threesome, first anal, sex parties experience, first dominatrix game, and how powerful I felt during that. It’s like your first love. All those experiences will always remain fresh in my memory.

Now let’s cover the basics of what you can and cannot do during your first time. Any first time.

First Sex Experience. Do’s and Don’ts

It might be your first time and you can’t wait to go through with it, but there are still main ground rules that you cannot ignore. Those will make the entire experience just better for all of you.

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Do’s

  • Have a consent. I will never stop saying that consent is necessary for any kind of sexual interaction. If you are both on the same level and naked in bed, it will never hurt to ask for consent. Hey, consent is sexy.
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  • Use condoms. That’s just healthy thinking. I remember that legend when I was a teen, that your first sex has to be without a condom, it is better for your body and there is no chance you will get pregnant. Guess what happened with that girl after her first time? Last time I checked, she had four babies. She got pregnant during her first sex. That’s what I call unfortunate. The moral of this little story is, use condoms. Always. Period.
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  • Choose your partner wisely. No, you don’t have to be in love and date a guy for a year before you go through with your first sex. However, you have to be confident with the partner and you should have trust. Well, at least enough trust to have sex with him.
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  • Lower your expectations. If you are a woman, do not expect to have extremely strong orgasms or orgasms at all whatsoever. I know zero women who had orgasms during their first time. Those who claim they did? They lie. Also, it probably won’t be like we’ve seen in movies. Those are directed scenes performed by professionals and we all know it is hard to replicate.
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  • Watch porn. That will help to get the main idea and see what turns you on. If you ever search the porn, I hope you get the idea that there is not only Brazzers type of porn. If you want something more pornomantic, you can find it. Finally, the industry realized that slow sex is also steaming hot and women would love to watch that every now and then.
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Don’ts

  • Don’t try to show off. Meaning, try simple poses. If that is the first time for traditional sex it is better to choose a missionary, anal sex requires comfortable doggy, and threesome has a variety of comfortable sex positions. Get more familiar with threesome positions here.
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  • Don’t do something you don’t enjoy. If in the middle of the process you feel like something is wrong or you would like to stop, the choice is yours. Don’t try to please anyone like that. Don’t feel bad or guilty to stop because you are uncomfortable. My first sex was semi-painful but I wanted to go through with that to the end, so I did. However, my failed threesome gave me a lame vibe somewhere in the middle, and I made a decision to leave. No hard feelings. Remember that you are no charity and you don’t owe people shit.
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  • Don’t fake orgasms. For the first time or ever. It is better to learn your body and try different positions that might help to get to the orgasms nirvana rather than fake it.
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My First Sexual Experience. A Real Story

My first sexual experience is going to be about my first hookup. Well, technically, my first sex was also a hookup but I was 16 and it was just a regular first time. Nothing juicy, however, I’m happy I was having sex for the first time with someone experienced. Yet hookup is more interesting because at that time we already had dating apps. So imma recall My First Sexual Hookup Experience.

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I think I was in Asia at that time and my choice of preference stopped within this popular at a time dating app. So I matched with this guy, we all know by now how that thing goes, I’ll skip the details of the matching algorithm or whatever.

The first thing that seemed too weird, is that he suggested not to talk when we meet and have a silent date. My first thought was that he is mute and too shy to be straightforward about it. Little did I know that his voice was the squeakiest voice I’ve ever heard in my life. Like, I’ve met babies with a more deep voice. I won’t lie, the most difficult thing for me was not to laugh.

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Despite that, my adventures went through with the bar date and I ended up at his place. Seven cocktails and a few shots of tequila did make him even cuter but apparently, alcohol can’t make you hear voices deeper. After he intended the first kiss at his place, he tried to speak up his, probably, well-prepared dirty talk. So I had no other choice than to shut him up by sitting on his face.

That sex was good, so I wasn’t disappointed any further. Or so I thought. After sex, I was about to leave but he asked me to stay to spoon. Ugh, that’s a no. So I started to get dressed when someone rang the door. While he was opening it, I saw female panties on the floor that wasn’t mine. The very same moment I heard a female voice. “Great! The idiot has a girlfriend,” I thought while putting two and two and panties together, and trying to escape without my face being scratched.

Long story short, is was his “fuck buddy” who was crazy in love with him and just crazy too. She was crying and then trying to give him a head. I’ve made a brave decision to stay inside the room till she is gone, so I spent nearly 30 minutes on my Instagram while hearing her going full crazy on that oral sex. Lucky guy, I must say. Even the voice wasn’t an issue. On my way out he tried to kiss me. Hell no, boy! Blocked him even before his crazy friend went down on her knees. Promised myself to always pay attention to the red flags.

Funny “First Hookup stories”:

Best Sex Experiences That I’ve Heard From Others

Since my early teenage age, I have been a very sexually interested female. No wonder I collect all those stories from my friends: how they lost their virginity, experienced something new, or how they just had some funny stories. Here are some of my favorites.

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Wrong hole

This girl was living with her mom only. Her mom worked a lot, so as teens, we were always hanging out at her apartment. Drinking beers, watching TV shows (on the actual TV, Netflix wasn’t a thing back then), and smoking cigarettes like adults. One time we were playing “have I never” game and someone said something about anal and she was the only one to sip her beer. The game was stopped immediately. Apparently, her first time was supposed to be a traditional first vaginal sex but turned out to be her first anal experience. The guy she was with wasn’t that much of an expert and just went to the first hole that seemed familiar.

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Not as fun as expected

Talking about anal. One of my male friends back in a day told me this horrifying story about his hookup that turned out to be the nastiest story of all times for me.

He met this girl on the bus, they started talking, and they got off at the same stop. After one hour and a cup of coffee with milk, he invited her to his place. She told him she does only anal. She was saving her virginity for her future husband. Oh well. They jumped into porn-like anal action and somehow, at one point, sis just couldn’t hold it anymore. He took out his dick and a second later he was all covered in her feces. Lactose intolerance, you know. She got dressed and left without a word. This story haunts me sometimes.

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Perfect STD

We all used to know that perfect teenage couple who were so sweet to each other that all around were either saying “Awww” or wanted to puke because it was too vanilla. I used to know two idiots as such. They decided to lose their virginity (both of them) in the public pool. He got STD. Probably not both of them were virgins.

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Maid took a new responsibility

My friend was seduced by his housemaid. Just like a good porn story. I don’t even think there is anything else to add.

After bringing up these stories in my head, I went to Google search and got a few other stories from People, Cosmopolitan, and Flare that made me laugh.

People stories

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Cosmopolitan stories

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Flare stories

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Most Ridiculous Myths

There are always these people who are trying to make up some rules or norms that should be accepted and followed by others. Same as that girl who said that it is impossible to get pregnant during the first sex got pregnant, I advise you not to listen to these ridiculous myths and follow your own brain.

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You have to be in love to have your first sex experience with someone special

Ugh, this myth was created for girls to hold on to their virginity as long as possible. Eventually, girls just become convinced that this or that guy is worth her precious flower or whatever, sleep with a dude, and then regret it. Because not all people are lucky to find their first love during their teenage years. So just relax, and if you want to just do it with that random guy — do it. Don’t let social “standards” ruin it for you. If you are looking for a place where to find that guy to go through with your first time (whatever you have in mind), Pure will be a great app to try out.

People at Pure are straightforward and love freedom mixed with experimenting. You don’t even have to create a profile or post a photo. Everything is designed like a feed of personal ads. You create an account, write down your ad (looking for a guy to lose my anal virginity or I have never tried a threesome, anyone down?) The app is totally free for females and you can get in touch with people within 1000 km radius.

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You will bleed all over the bedsheets

Another partial myth, simply because all people are different and each woman’s body also can react differently. There are females that maybe had a few drops of blood and that’s it. Either way, it is normal and nothing to be ashamed about.

You can’t get pregnant if you have sex while menstruating

Times magazine and I say wrong! It is rare but possible. Use contraceptives if you are not planning to have babies any time soon. It’s proven that sperm can live for several days, just FYI.

Condoms guarantee 100% of safety

Thanks, Vice for getting that sorted. Condoms won’t protect you from totally everything, whether that is pregnancy or STIs. It is only 98%, never 100%.

Bottom Line

My first sexual experience or all of your experiences is something that we cannot change or escape. So instead of trying to avoid the topic, embrace it. I will always vouch for sharing any type of experience, especially sexual. Stupid society dudes back in the day decided that sex is something dirty and forbidden. That is unacceptable to talk about people having sex for the first time or anytime with friends while having lunch. I say, screw that type of society.

If you have any fun or embarrassing or whatever story about any of your first times, do share below in a comment section!

FAQ

Is it okay to have first sex with someone I don’t love?

Yes, the decision is completely yours, and only yours. You can have your first sexual experience with anyone you feel comfortable with.

Where can I find a person to experiment with sexually?

If none of the people you know can suit this role, it is completely fine to turn to the dating apps. For example, Pure will be a great fit to find someone for any sexual experimenting. All you need to do is get an account and create an ad where you can specify all you are looking for and see how many like-minded people will answer your ad. Start there.

Can I get pregnant during my first sexual experience?

Yes, it is possible to get pregnant during your first sex if you are not using any contraceptives. So you are not planning to have babies just yet, consider using protection.

Is it okay to fake orgasms if I really like a guy?

It is up to you, but I think it is better to get to know each other’s bodies and enjoy all the pleasant feelings rather than fake it to make someone else feel better.

What sexual position I should try for my first traditional sex experience?

If that is your first time, try something easy like missionary or doggy. It is better to feel comfortable and confident with your movements and focus your attention on more important things at that very same moment.

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