Once upon a time, there was a human who gathered other humans and they all established that sex on a first date is not cool and no one should do it. It was due to the reasons that people should get to know each other mentally first before jumping into the bed together and exchange sweat, saliva, and fluids. Instead, as a woman, you had to wait till someone will come along who would want to marry, so you better save yourself up for your future husband. God forbid you have more than one man throughout your life.
Setting rules is cool and whatever, but who said you have to follow them 100%? No way! All the way from biblical times people did whatever the fuck they wanted — behind the closed doors, of course. Males sure thing could have spent weeks in a brothel and it was okay, because “men have their needs” and females had to be extra careful with their so-called reputation of a good Christian and future wife, mother to children, and whatnot.
What I’m trying to say, it that even though we all think the hookup culture popped around the 1980s, the hookup was always there. Even before Jesus began to turn water into wine.
However, with the tech progress that humanity made throughout the centuries, we became more outspoken and free about sex, sexual orientation, and all major life-choices. Now we don’t even date that much. So if you are on a first date with this person and feel the chemistry, you don’t need to follow any rules, just do it!
Do People Still Do First Dates?
The classical first date is where you might kiss goodnight after walking her or him home, the second date you can get touchy, but only a bit. And finally, on the third date, you may give up on your flower. Those three dates were usually at least a week apart, and back in the 1980s or 2000s there were no mobiles, no socials to keep in touch constantly, no digital ways to “get to know each other better.” So basically after you’ve seen a person 3 times for a couple of hours, you were good to have sex, but if you have just met you couldn’t because you didn’t know that person well. I’m lost and confused about this.
Then once, I’ve heard that it’s not three dates anymore but five. Apparently, after five there is definitely an emotional connection. I would say this is where frustration is ruling your decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all in for the romantic stuff, but at the same time, I hate waiting. Sex is one of the most important things in any romantic relationship. The thought “what if I get that emotional connection with a guy and then the sex is lame or his size is not enough for me?” makes me shiver.
When was the last time you’ve been on a “proper” first date? I don’t even remember. Maybe 2 years ago I was experimenting and waited for 4 dates (1 month in total) to have sex with this guy. Did we feel a connection? Sure. But mostly because of the talking daily through messengers and calls. And look where it got me, ladies! I’m still single.
You can do as many first dates as you want, the point is that it doesn’t guarantee you shit. Simple as that.
First Date Tips
However, even if that is a hookup, you might meet up before doing any business just to break the ice. So let’s name it a Hookup date. I want to dive more into what to do on a first hookup date, rather than a dinner-movie-kiss date. We all watched romcoms, we know exactly how that stuff goes.
- Texting. Before you actually go on a hookup date, you better set all the main details in advance. I don’t mean what time you will have sex and what positions and in which order. More like, whose place, where to meet. Little sexting won’t hurt, either.
- Meetup in a public place. Man is not supposed to pick you up anymore. You are a big girl, you can get to the place yourself. It could be any place, really. Coffeeshop, park, lunch place, a bar. Whatever you can think of for a place would do just great.
- Bring condoms. Yep. Do it. Another tip inside of this tip is to have at least one condom in your wallet or purse. That rule saved me many times. By the way, it is totally okay not to use it at all if the chemistry just wasn’t there in real life and you leave home by yourself.
Overall, I don’t see the point to throw more tips like “questions to ask on a first date.” What is date and how to agree on that, what to talk about on a first date in general or what to wear on a first date. You are big boys and girls, you can figure this out on your own.
First Date Sex. Is It Okay to Go All The Way?
What I do want to talk about is double standards that, again, those “society” dudes set. A lot of girlfriends of mine nowadays and me, back when I was in a middle school, think that sex on the first date is not really okay and “if you want a guy to like you, don’t sleep with him right away.”
I hope we all can agree that we can throw it because it is garbage! One of my close friends is getting married this year, and guess what, they hookup up in 2 hours after introducing themselves to each other. I was there. I was the one who pushed her to make the first step to have a fun night. They certainly did.
They hooked up and she puked all over his bathroom. Now they are buying property together.
Meanwhile, I need to buy a dress and fly my ass to their wedding. Now imagine if she didn’t make that first sexy move, who knows what would have happened. Aya: a hookup-matchmaker. Contact my agent for bookings. Wink wink.
If you don’t have such a good friend as me, you can always download a dating app. Pure in particular will make a perfect fit for your hookup intentions. The app was designed to bring like-minded spirits together to embrace the freedom of choices and sexuality.
All you need to do to get started is to create an account with your email or Google / Apple ID and place your advertisement for others in a 1,000 km radius to see. After you both like each other’s ads, you will get connected in a 24-hour chat (which you can leave or extend any time you feel like it). If you are looking for a hookup only, I suggest using Pure as a tool to meet people online but to move offline as soon as possible. After all, this is why we are here, right?
Now, let’s get serious for a second. If you are a male, how to make that first move or say it straight to her face instead of a “hey”? If you are a woman, is that okay to make the first move or you should only wait for him to be active?
First Date Sex. Male
It is hard to be a man sometimes. Everyone expects you to do a first move. And think of good first date ideas can be overwhelming. However, if you have any sense of female behavior, this won’t be difficult for you.
The first thing you should memorize is to lower your expectations. Even if you two had fun sexting session or two online and you are meeting up to turn all of that sext into sex, you might not get any.
Do not think that either way, you will end up having sex. Yet, I think it is safe to make your offering move (whatever you use) to see where that might go.
One of the funniest stories that happened to me is a good example when I liked the dude but after an hour of our date, I was ready to run and never see that person again. He did a few odd things but I just didn’t feel any vibe from him. So I fostered my ass to get out of the restaurant we were in (after we split the check). Unfortunately, he did not catch my vibe. And as a true person with no sense, he tried to grab my ass and kiss me deep throat. That’s never cool. But he got his revenge. He took back all of his IG likes that he left under my photos. Oh well.
But if you both are on the same page, it is more than okay to ask her to have a walk that would lead to your place. You should also show her the interest in a sensual touching way. I hope you know what I mean. Anyway, females accept it and you should try your shot. I really don’t know a guy who would say “No, thank you” to a straightforward offer from a woman.
First Date Sex. Female
Here we go, a bunch of questions: is it okay to offer it as a female? If yes, how to offer? How to react if you were offered?
I remember one guy was so shy that he barely touched me and then I had to take action into my own hands and make up a reason to get to his hotel room. I can’t say it felt awkward at all. I mean, I am a human with needs and desires. I want it, I get it (I really need to stop to listen to that song by Ariana).
Since I’ve got zero patience, I’ve been a straightforward female since 2010. And I wish you the same. It doesn’t mean that you should be first-initiative in all 100% of situations. It means that you can give it a try once in a while.
There are still men that might be in shock if you play the lead role in this hookup date, they even might be irritated, but there is nothing they can do about it. Being initiative is great. You can finally miss on all the misunderstandings that might confuse both people. There is no shame in “Hey, remember you wanted to see my underwear? You can see it and take it off tonight” or something similar.
Well, that’s all good, but what if you have no one to go to that first (or second, or third) date with?
Pure is the place where you can find multiple potential partners to experiment with a date on the first sex.
It is 100% free for all females. Guys need to pay, and it’s definitely worth it. Especially, when a year will cost you only fifty bucks. The interface is mixed with the most intriguing design and simple ads that will catch your attention immediately. You can place either the photo with your ad or just a text ad. You can skip all those profile information and small talk and get straight to the business. Download Pure right now and see for yourself.
Fighting Old-School Stereotypes. Time For Real Life Stories
My opinion is fine, but what about other real people who tried?
Source: The Cut
So the question is still Goodnight Kiss or Goodnight Sex? I can’t tell you what to do, but I can suggest doing Goodnight Sex or Damn Hot Sex Marathon if that feels right and your loins are on fire.
And if your loins together with heart, soul, and a clear mind are not there, don’t even make yourself go with a goodnight kiss. It’s not worth it. It’s simple as that. I mean, you can do all the math in your head, but you either want it or not. Go from there.
Should you kiss on the first date?
Is it okay to kiss on the first date? Sure thing. You both feel attracted to each other. The date is probably going well, so why hold yourself back if you can be kissing instead of overthinking.
Is it okay to have sex on first dates?
Yes! That is okay to have sex on the first date if you both want it.
Where should I take my girlfriend on a date?
I can’t teach you how to date but there are a couple of best date ideas I have. Even a simple movie and dinner can be considered as one of the best first date ideas. Also, a picnic would be quite romantic. Something active if your date likes it. I can write the entire article about things to do on a date but it is more about you two.
Is it okay to go through with a first date blowjob?
Sure! And include all types of sex there too. If you feel like having something in your mouth tonight, a blowjob is a right decision.
Things to talk about on a date. Can I talk about sex on a first date?
Before the first date, during, and after. There are no rules anymore. Just try not to seem too thirsty. Make it sexy but classy.